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Script Roast

Paste the most robotic template your store makes you send. We'll roast it like your funniest coworker, then rewrite it so a human would actually reply.

Swap any real customer or store names for placeholders first.
HumanFull robot
    Fair warning

    We roast the template, not you.

    Your store wrote it. You just have to send it. The Robot-o-meter on the left scores it as you type. Hit "Roast it" for the burns and a rewrite you can actually use.